Lighter Side: Licenced to thrill? Spy agency calls for recruits

Struggling to find top talent for your organisation? Put yourself in the shoes of this national spy agency, which has turned to an unexpected talent pool to find the next 007.

Lighter Side: Licenced to thrill? Spy agency calls for recruits
Calling all plumbers, electricians and carpenters: ASIO wants you! Australia’s national spy agency has implored tradesmen and women to take up new careers as covert operatives.
The latest ASIO advertising campaign invites “problem-solvers with a wealth of life experience” to “trade your tools for a role protecting our nation”.
However, those lured by the glamourous life of a spy, as witnessed in the James Bond novels and films, might want to think twice: new recruits are subjected to long hours undertaking somewhat menial tasks – albeit with high-tech gadgets – all of which are vital to preserving Australia’s national security.
An ASIO spokesperson told The Daily Telegraph that the agency was “targeting a range of applicants including men (and women) who may never have contemplated a career within ASIO”.
People of “varied career backgrounds, education standards and ages” would be considered but the spokesperson added that only “committed team players” who are teachable, dedicated and adaptable need apply.
While a licence to kill is not a prerequisite for new recruits, would-be spies must possess “a high level of situational awareness and individual resilience” and “a particularly strong attention to detail”.
They must also have “normal colour perception that enables clear delineation between red and green and no issues with ‘night blindness’, and meet a basic level of fitness”.
Recruits will undergo top-level security clearance checks and undertake a six-month training program.

The starting salary is A$70,628 - with no mention of perks such as unlimited Dom Perignon or salary-sacrificed Aston Martins.

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