To brighten up your day, here is a light-hearted poem addressing the industrial relations and occupational health and safety challenges presented by international Christmas gift deliveries. Merry Christmas to the Australian HR community from the editorial team at HRD!
Christmas Greetings Delivery
We're transport union reindeer working hard to earn our hay
in spite of night-time hazards and an over-loaded sleigh
We're breaking sky speed limits so the boss can have a snort
from glasses left to thank him of lemonade or port
We're s'pposed to race around the world and do it in one night
I'm going to call the union and say they have to fight
for basic rights for reindeer 'cos landing on some rooves
requires safety harnesses and protection for our hooves.
I'll complain to the official in charge of OHS
that Santa's work place practices are causing pain and stress
What other transport workers face the danger and the farce
of wires in their antlers and antennae up their arse?
Triple time for Christmas Eve will be my loud refrain
or we'll refuse to drag a sleigh from snow to heat again.
We'd like some air-conditioning and alarms for birds and drones
and radars set to catch us while we're talking on our phones.
And when we reach Australia we'll demand accommodation
‘cos we've heard endangered species are welcome in that nation.
We'll wave our hoof-made banners and form a picket line
so children can't see Santa until their parents sign
a petition saying, “Malcolm, you've got to let them stay.
Think of all the imports you can tax on Santa's sleigh".
We expect skilled worker visas to be granted any day
and we'll resume deliveries with a big increase in hay
We know our fellow unionists will shout us troughs of beer
congratulating colleagues who work one day a year.
By Helen Lyne