It’s not all sex and the city for the childless female lawyer

Childless women in the legal profession have had to remain silent about their misgivings over the amount of attention paid to the demands of people who have or want to have children, argues Susan Borg

Childless women in the legal profession have had to remain silent about their misgivings over the amount of attention paid to the demands of people who have or want to have children, argues Susan Borg

Was Sex and the City’s Miranda right when she said: “When someone gets married, all bets are off. They become married and we become the enemy?” The distinct lack of concern over the employment conditions of our ‘childless sisters in the law’ (CSL) would indicate this is the case.

It seems that all the negotiating going on to produce better conditions in the workforce is centred around women with children. Have our childless sisters been separated from the herd and treated as unimportant and therefore not worthy of consideration?

Not only are we bombarded by information about ‘people with children’ (PWC), it seems we have to listen to their bickering too. Everywhere I turn I see articles and news items on paid maternity leave, paternity leave, family tax benefits and childcare rebates. Then, like magic, a PWC appears, telling us how they are not getting a fair go and that the Government should be doing more. Where do the PWCs think the money comes from for these benefits? Do they think there is a magical government pot that refills on demand? No, it comes out of our wages, including the wages of childless women.

From the outset, let me say that I’m not advocating the removal of government assistance for those families that are struggling. However, it has occurred to me and my fellow CSLs that our rights are rarely considered, especially in the workplace.

It’s as though there is this belief that CSLs are getting what we deserve as a penalty for not partnering up and having babies. You never read articles on how difficult life can be for the childless woman let alone the childless female lawyer, unless it’s some low-grade article on ‘how to find a man’.

After all, what do we have to complain about? We are on good incomes, do as we please, never sacrifice our desires for anyone else and have sex whenever we want – right? Wrong. According to my informal survey, being childless has its own set of problems, ones that are not considered perhaps because they are seen to be trivial given how good we are perceived to be getting it.

Over the past few months I have attempted to coax members of the childless sisterhood into giving me their honest opinion about how they see themselves in today’s society, and the workplace in particular. Many were initially reluctant as they were keen to keep in step with community pressure and say what is politically correct. However, a few gin and tonics later (sorry, no cosmopolitans at the local watering hole) and it was interesting to hear the level of anger that emerged.

To be honest, I was not surprised at their responses as I have felt the same from time to time. The general consensus is that they feel they are ignored and often used. Female magistrates have confided that they are trying to dodge the bullet of being sent out to country Victoria for two years as it is considered less disruptive to send a CSL than it is to send her female PWC colleague.

Other female lawyers tell me that whenever they try to take holidays that coincide with school holidays they are knocked back as their female colleagues with children are given first preference. They also work longer hours to enable their PWC colleagues to pick up their little ones from day care.

One female lawyer from a prestigious firm told me that she would love to work four days a week so that she could bring balance to her life. She was told, however, that this was not a good enough reason to alter her current full-time status and that four-day working weeks were reserved for women who have small children.

CSLs are in a tax bracket where we get little or no financial assistance or tax breaks from the Government. We hold on to our pay packets in quiet desperation (as it is not permissible to let our non-politically correct thoughts be known) whenever the question of paid maternity leave is raised. CSLs may not have the financial burden of children, but some live in a one income household. The female PWCs at this point are saying: “Well it’s your choice” and that is true, but you don’t hear me whinging about it and wanting financial assistance for the choices I have made.

The Federal Government recently introduced a new Medicare initiative. I was interested to note that if you’re in a family with children then you pay only $300 in medical bills before the Government comes to the rescue regarding the gap that is usually incurred. The $300, the Government commercial proudly tells us, is not for each person but for the family collectively. If you are a childless person then you have to wait until you have incurred $700 in medical bills, all by your lonesome.

No doubt by now the PWCs reading this article have dismissed it as trite. After all, there are no quotes from any of the articles on the Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission (HREOC) website, or statistics from the Australian Government Office of the Status of Women (AGOSW) website. The main reason for the lack of reference material however, is that having searched these two websites (as well as a few others) no reference material on this topic presented itself. A search of the AGOSW website using the words ‘unmarried, childless, women, lawyers, workforce’produced no matches. Funnily enough, the same search on the HREOC website produced 300 matches for statistics regarding mainly women with disabilities.

Another area of complaint that arose during my survey related to female PWCs bringing children to work in circumstances where their employer does not have child-minding facilities. The result of my unofficial survey was the general irritation expressed by CSLs who were trying to be productive at work whilst listening to the squawking noise of offspring belonging to PWCs. When asked if they pleaded for quiet, I was met with the response ‘are you kidding?’Actually, I was kidding as I had encountered the same dilemma and kept my mouth shut for fear of being called a ‘child hater’ and out of touch with my inner earth-mother. I wonder what the firm’s view would be if one of these little darlings were injured in the work place? No doubt the PWC attached to the child involved would have no hesitation in suing the firm.

So, why do I have a need to be publicly vocal on this issue, you ask. Well, I am tired of taking calls at 9 o’clock at night from people who think I have nothing better to do. I am fed up of having to listen to female PWCs complaining about their plight, especially when most chose to get married and have a family. Furthermore, I’m peeved at the thought that my legally qualified childless sisters feel intimidated into keeping their mouths shut regarding these issues.

What is needed is a study into whether women lawyers who are childless are being discriminated against because of their status and whether this has impacted on their health.

Some may believe after reading this article that I am advocating that women with children should just give up their place in the workforce. They are wrong. I am merely suggesting that it is time we stopped ignoring our childless sisters who are often treated as though they have no rights as they are not part of the baby culture.

There are many women who hold the views expressed in this article, but are not game enough to openly volunteer them for fear of being ridiculed or accused of being anti-family. If you don’t believe me, you should ask a CSL or two (in a non-threatening way), perhaps over a few gin and tonics. See what they say, you may be surprised.

Finally, if you are unhappy with the content of this article then you should dismount from your high horse, ring a colleague with children and leave the rest of us to watch Sex and the City.

Susan Borg is a barrister, part-time member of the Migration Review Tribunal and loves children, just not discrimination. If you have any comments on suggestions, please email [email protected]