One communication specialist shares her advice on how HR should approach the tough topics
Awkward conversations are never easy but ignoring an uncomfortable issue will only make it worse – here, one communications specialist explains how HR can approach a tough topic with tact.
“There are typically two buckets that the ‘tougher’ conversations fall in to – people’s ability to do their job (technical skills) and people’s behaviour (people skills),” says Georgia Murch, author of The Feedback Flow: The Ultimate Illustrated Guide to Embed Change.
According to Murch, the technical conversations – which include issues such as a missed target, disappointing numbers or poor client feedback – tend to be more straight-forward.
“These are often fact based and can be quite clear,” she tells HRD. “I’m not saying they are easy for people, just more straightforward. In saying that, holding others to account, in a way that builds trust and respect, not damages, it can be the awkward part.”
However, Murch says it’s the behaviour-based conversations which leaders most often struggle with.
“It’s because they feel personal,” she explains. “Letting someone know they are seen as rude and abrasive or on the other side of the scale too emotional, or hard to talk to. These soft skills feel personal, because they are. But it doesn’t mean they are not valuable or necessary.”
While these conversations are absolutely necessary, Murch says many people balk at the thought of having them – and it’s usually for the same reason.
“The reasons why leaders avoid these conversations are the same across all levels, whether you are in the C suite or a new leader,” she says. “Fear is the most common. Fear of ruining the relationship, fear of making a situation worse or not being able to manage the reactions of others, fear of conflict or getting it wrong. Then there is the fear of the consequence. What if I say it and my role or bonus is at risk or the client relationship?”
The other common reason, she says, is time. “’I don’t have time to have these conversations, I’m too busy.’ This is not a reason though. It’s an excuse.”
So how exactly do leaders get over their fear and get better at having tough conversations?
“There are two things that leaders need to work on to be able to have the conversations that push people, projects and processes forward and create a positive ripple effect,” says Murch. “That is, content and intent.”
According to Murch, people ‘hear’ your content yet they ‘smell’ your intent.
“Content is preparing well, gathering your facts, examples and opinions about the situation,” she says. “Intent is making sure you are walking in to it with the best of intentions. It’s the self-reflection piece and it’s vital. It’s the difference between an assignation and an education.”
For those who are unable to master content and intent, Murch says there are myriad consequences.
“What if we don’t have the conversation with the individual who is not pulling their weight, or speaking poorly to another, or missing deadlines?” she asks. “Best case scenario it continues. Worst case it gets worse and starts affecting others around them and their ability to get things done. The spot fire turns into a bush fire.”
Murch also says leaders will quickly lose the respect of their employees if they’re unable to address problems within the workforce.
“People value leaders who are brave enough and respectful enough to step up and deal with the tough stuff. That’s their gig,” she says.
“A leader is often defined by what they are willing to walk past. The culture they allow is the culture they create. When people lose respect for their leaders we don’t create high performance. We risk growing people, developing great cultures and delivering on KPIs.”
