Your early morning voicemail messages interpreted

by 04 Nov 2011

It’s a problem every HR director has to deal with, and the quandary of whether to believe your trusted worker is an ongoing dilemma.

The early morning ‘I can’t come in today because..’ phone call is all too common, but as HC reported earlier this week, things are looking up. (Related: Employee abscences decrease)

Yes, the 2011 Absence Management Survey Report from Direct Health Solutions (DHS) found that for the first time in three years, the rate of employee absence has decreased - workers have taken off an average of half a day less than in previous years.

Yet, although the rate of absence has decreased, the overall rate remains high at 9.4 days per employee, per annum.

For your amusement, HC has put together a list of our favourite 'day off work' excuses, and what the real reason for the absence may be. (Though, of course, your workers are really sick at home in bed)

Driver’s license renewal appointment = 24-Hour virus.

One day only sale = Flu.

It’s Friday and I want to start the weekend early = Sudden unbearable stomach pains.

Court appearance to argue speeding ticket = Visiting sick aunt in hospital

I’m looking for a new job and have interview appointments = Mysterious recurring infection

I need a haircut and my stylist doesn’t have any evening appointments = Bout of food poisoning

There are no more public holidays until Christmas = Stomach bug

Went out drinking mid-week with the boys = Slipped a disc at the gym last night

I royally messed up and can’t face the music = Terminal Illness

 

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