Toughest recruitment drive in Australia: The PM’s office

by 24 Feb 2012

Spare a thought for the worker bees in Canberra; they’ve got a tough job on their hands. Just hours after Julia Gillard yesterday announced a leadership ballot for Monday, a listing for the top job appeared on

It of course didn’t take long for someone to take the mickey out of the second Labor leadership spill in as many years and notably the role was listed as reporting to “faceless men” and was “temporary” in duration:

“Applicants should have extensive experience in the public service or private enterprise, exceptional spoken and written language skills, a genuine interest in, and thorough knowledge of, current affairs, economics, history, statecraft and philosophy, be an eloquent speaker and empathetic individual of outstanding moral character. However we will settle for applicants who have a pulse.

You will report to Her Excellency the Governor General, the people of Australia, backbenchers, the Leader of the Opposition, and Alan Jones.

You will be expected to manage a large team of experienced senior executives, each with varying responsibilities and capabilities, and proven track records. Wayne Swan will also be there.

Under your leadership, this team will be required to manage both domestic and foreign policy (preferably with occasional successes). You will move Australia forward and build our future whilst giving working families a fair go, protecting our borders and building an economy that is the envy of the world by ensuring our environment is preserved for future generations and stopping the boats, whilst upholding our humanitarian responsibilities to the traditional owners of the land.

In addition, your office will be staffed by a team of dedicated and competent casuals and volunteers. Note that these groups are separate; the dedicated individuals are not competent, and the competent individuals are not dedicated.

Your tenure will be subject to periodic review by the populace, to be held at 3-year intervals or at the Governor-General’s pleasure. Your appointment will also be subject to the ongoing support of three unpopular men from the bush, and following a 3 month probation period your performance will be assessed in the latest Newspoll.

You may at times be required to work longer than the specified 38 hour work week; however, this should not be too inconvenient as the position is expected to be temporary.”

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