Bearded women hijack mining exec meeting

by 18 May 2012

A group of bearded women brought a meeting of mining industry leaders to a standstill this week, overtaking proceedings to congratulate the beard-dominated gathering on its efforts to exclude women, fast-track climate change and water-down the carbon tax.

An estimated 200 attendees at the Melbourne Mining Club’s bi-monthly meeting looked on with bemused expressions as five women wearing home-crafted beards took charge of the microphone at approximately 6:45pm. The women, who announced they were from the group La Barbe Australia, cited statistics on gender distribution in the upper-echelons of the industry including a near 87% male managerial rate and 96% CEO rate.

Oddly, the convener of the event accepted a framed, voluminous golden beard from the group, which they announced was a “prestigious Golden Beard, awarded for outstanding services to the Patriarchy”. His slightly stiff smile as he shook hands with several of the bearded women was perhaps due to feelings of humble gratitude.

The bearded women’s action prematurely cut short question time for the evening’s third speaker, Mr Peter Topham, Executive Chairman of Royalco Resources. During his address, Topham had announced that his company’s Filipino concern was employing people who “50 years ago were head-hunters” and that the dividends from his company were “keeping [his] wife happy”.  

The bearded women handed transcripts of their address to several attendees after they were accompanied from the podium and briefly took questions before disappearing into the bearded throng.


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