Building resilient relationships

Leading successfully in volatile times demand superior skills including the ability to identify issues and their levels of urgency so strategic adjustments can be carefully made. What is also of great significance is being able to care for stakeholder relationships with the same urgency as caring for the financials.

However evidence today indicates that leaders operate between these two sets of competing priorities and while they would like to invest more in relationships their primary focus is on survival strategies not relationship strategies. This shift from people to bottom line exclusively is unfortunately interfering with results as staff, clients and stakeholders are reportedly feeling "less connected and committed to supporting the businesses, companies and their leaders." **

So what is the solution? The answer may indeed lie in history and while not seeking to compare one event in time with another, there are certainly some similarities that are worth drawing a parallel at this point. The Depression of '20's and the Credit Squeeze of '60's had the same devastating and often irreversible financial consequences as it is having today along with the enormous cost on mental health
and stress on families.

In the past as it is today, the crisis is as much a Mental Depression as it is a Financial one, and relationships are suffering.

Thus, questions worth considering now:

a) do people today have the capacity to be more resilient than in times gone by due or if, in fact the basic human condition has not changed and people still respond to trauma or problems with the same levels of ability, tolerance, and resilience?

b) Are we better equipped to handle difficult situations with greater resilience than before due to our exposure to higher education, sophistication in business and experience?

c) Are our abilities to handle problems more advanced for having been shown to different management techniques and strategies - or are we likely to respond with emotion first and strategy second?

d) Do we simply need to look after people differently thus creating strong relationships that can withstand times of stress and duress? Maybe the answers are not related to the above at all and it is simply that some people will by nature be more resilient while others won't depending on their personal capacity to process, manage, cope and recover when things go wrong.

In fact, resilient relationships may be no more than what surrounds each person and their natural ability to think and respond and how we interact with them.

There are indeed a number of other considerations around what enables a person to be more or less resilient at different times. Therefore, in determining how resilient people are and how much resilience relationships have, consider the base from where they come from.

Here are a list of considerations to help ascertain whether your relationships may be at risk:

• Are people operating at the level of the relationship or where they would like to be?
• What level of physical health is the person in when things get tough?
• What level of financial health is the business in when things get tough?
• How has the person historically behaved when things get tough?
• How has the business previously behaved in challenging times?
• What support systems are/were in place to help the person and business recover?
• Do the person/staff know what is going on around them and in what context their work is taking?
• What external influences are interfering with the process?
• What external influences are working in a positive way?
• Do staff have the resources around them to assist them to cope at the time?
• What additional resources may help your stakeholders stay strong and focused?
• Have you asked them or are you second guessing?
• At what point in the unfolding of the issues did the person/s lose their momentum?
• How long were they strong before they were unable to stay strong?
• What was the main contributing factor for their resilience to waiver?
• What have you done about it?
• What happened outside their control that made them less able to manage?

By gathering some historical facts on behaviour, attitude, habits and skills it may provide some much needed insight on how to pre-empt what relationship may be more vulnerable and what can be done to make them stronger.

In summary, while businesses are currently pre occupied with securing a healthy financial future, those businesses whose focus is making their relationships resilient will get there faster and more successfully.

**Survey: Confident Communications Dec 2008 - June 2009

About the author
Ricky Nowak CSP is a corporate leadership consultant helping business leaders and their teams realize their potential and achieve outstanding results. She works across diverse industries as a Keynote and Conference presenter, Executive Coach, Workshop facilitator throughout Australia and Asia. She can be contacted on www.rickynowak.com or ricky@rickynowak.com

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