Lighter side: Ridiculous resume mistakes

by Janie Smith08 Aug 2014
A hilarious error can make a CV stand out just as much as a well put together resume.

Chances are, you’ve seen your share of unintentionally fantastic mistakes over the years.

Luckily, international staffing firm Robert Half has kept a record of its best CV blunders and put them on a dedicated website called Resumania.

Here are a few that made us laugh out loud:
 
Hilarious cover letter statements

“You are going read this letter and think I am either too serious or a complete flake.”
“Hire me today and take advantage of a diamond in the ruff.”
“I'm attacking my resume for you to review.”
“I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know I'm looking to change jobs."
“I recently launched my own business, but since it's quickly losing money, I need a job.”
“As my career with the WWE begins, I will need to have a day job. Professional wrestling does not pay very well in the beginning.”
“I am an Australian citizen and will remain an Australian citizen and an Australian, forever. Idealistically, I would like to mention that I love Australia.”
 
Quirky qualifications

“I have the brain of a sponge.”
“I like to hire and fire people.”
“I am good looking, so I really feel I'm cut out for advertising.”
“I can ear 30 hot dogs in less than a minute; also good at team sports.”
“Able to fit a whole Moon Pie in my mouth.”
"Fluent in both English and Spinach.”
 
Off-beat objectives

“To get an opportunity to proof what I know.”
“I want to someday collect brown-haired Barbies.”
“I would like to find a home to stay until it's time to go out to pasture.”
"To work very hardly.”
“Desire the chance to showcase my delightful personality, intelligence and superior judgment, which are so hard to find these days.”
“To be revered as a Goddess for my analytical skills; to be admired and talked about for my creative and elegant ideas; to work for a group that's still in it to have fun and make That Dream come alive; to be surrounded by good people who laugh often and whose own personal motivation inspires me; to forge consensus and sow encouragement in those around me.”
 
What brilliant blunders or quirky claims have you come across in resumes?

Related stories:
Lighter side: A toast to quirky resumes
Shock resume: Man includes racy photo to secure interview

COMMENTS

  • by Deb 8/08/2014 12:13:22 PM

    One I received yesterday had a 'past passed environment' instead of fast paced - spellcheck wins again.

  • by Mardi 8/08/2014 12:21:05 PM

    I once read a resume where a candidate was describing his leadership experience. He stated:
    "2 years ago, I joined the local football club. Last month, I was voted Club Precedent."

  • by Kara Black 8/08/2014 12:23:27 PM

    We had an applicant who professed she loved to touch people (sexual harassment or a genuine desire to make a difference?) and another who commented that his skills "as an animal clairvoyant and snake aficionado stood him in good stead to deal with staff at all levels"

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